Haha, I know you're trying to help, Aerogator, and I greatly appreciate it. Don't worry, I'm totally calm
Order of calibration is as follows.
1 - Plug in device
2 - Launch VKBDevCfg-C
3 - Ensure trigger is flipped down
4 - Flip it up, and down, and fully depress
5 - Start calibration
6 - Manipulate full range of main gimbal, then master mode stick, then gate control stick, then brake lever
7 - Flip up trigger, then down and fully depress
8 - End calibration
9 - Check "Test - Axes" page while depressing trigger and see no movement on the sliders
However, after reading what rtski said, I tried enabling "armed" and "fire" under the MCG pro trigger on the "Common -n- Axes" tab, and then tested the button functions and they all came up. I think I just totally misunderstood how the trigger was supposed to work (like I said, I think they forgot to put my manual in the box), because exactly what he described on the "Test - Axes" page is what I was expecting to see. I didn't realize that last axis readout was reserved for the twist (which I do plan to get). I was expecting to see that move with the trigger. So apparently I'm just an idiot
On a side note, is there actually a way to set up the trigger sensor to work as a full range absolute axis like the brake lever does?
Thank you both very much for your assistance. Sorry for being dumb.
Also, I did end up taking a look inside just to see if I could spot a loose wire or anything, which of course I didn't, but I gotta say, that is a nicely put together piece of kit.